Tips For Creating Healthy Families

Choose a good time – after school, bedtime, while driving, whenever they seem interested in talking.

Use a recent event to start a conversation.

Sit at their level or on the floor so they feel more equal.

Focus special attention on qualities or behaviors you want to see more of, and less on their mistakes.

Tell them your feelings and thoughts about things that have meaning to you.

Draw out a child’s ideas.  Don’t rush to answer questions.  Ex: “What were you thinking here?”

Describe in detail what you see, instead of evaluating.  Ex:  “You cleaned the floor, washed the dishes and put away the leftovers!”

Avoid criticisms and directions.
 

Lecture, preach, or interrupt.

Correct their grammar.

 Take away hope.  Ex:  Child:  “I want to get a job at camp.”  Parent:  “You’re too young, no one will hire you.”

Not setting aside enough time.

Push a child into a role or label.  Ex:  “You’re so uncoordinated, bossy, just like your mother, etc.”

Not taking their thoughts or feeling seriously.