Keeping Youth Drug-Free

Adapted from Reality Check and the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services

Being responsible for or to a child is the most important job any of us in our community will ever have.  It’s both difficult and rewarding.

Young people are wonderful and they can be hard to deal with.  They want our attention but complain we are watching them too closely.

We know that parents, grandparents, elders, foster parents, older siblings, youth leaders, coaches and other role models can play a major role in helping young people avoid the dangerous minefields of substance abuse.  The key is to talk to our children – often and early – and to send clear and consistent messages that we don’t want them using alcohol, tobacco, and drugs.

What are the reasons young people give for using alcohol, tobacco and drugs?  What are steps parents can take do effectively deal with these reasons?

• To feel grown up

Kids look at parents and other adults as role models who act “grown up.”  Parents should be positive role models by drinking responsibly and in moderation and not using illicit drugs and tobacco.  Parents need to “let” their children grow up. By giving them more independence you may even deter them from using drugs or alcohol by making them feel grownup and mature.

• To take risks and rebel

Parents should talk to their kids about taking risks and get lots of input from their children and what it means to them.  Parents can help their children find tolerable risks, other than alcohol and drug use, that appeal to them, push the limits and appeal to their sense of fun.

• To fit in and belong

Parents should help their children deal with peer pressure by helping them build social skills and think of and practice responses to peer pressure.  The most important thing is to make sure the young person is comfortable with what he or she wants to say.  The parents’ job is to coach them to use language and phrases that they come up with themselves.

• To relax and feel good

Kids are under stress and may use drugs to alleviate the tension.  Parents should allow their children to express their feeling and concerns, look at their own coping skills to see if they are setting a good example, set goals based on the young person’s ability, show confidence in their children’s ability to handle problems and tackle new challenges, and not tire their children out by having too many activities.

• To satisfy curiosity

Kids are smart and very quick to pick up mixed messages in the media, at school, or at the dinner table.  Even if parents have done an outstanding job of educating and nurturing their children, many young people will remain innately curious about alcohol and drugs.  Parents can share information with their children on different drugs and their effects.  Parents can also show their children the devastating effects of drug and alcohol abuse by taking them to a drug treatment center or AA meeting.

Another exercise that may help young people resist peer pressure to do drugs is to:

Write their goals and how doing drugs would affect their attainment of them.

Example:  Goal – To be an excellent soccer player.  How drugs would affect the goal – Drugs would hurt my physical stamina, agility, and mental focus needed to be an excellent soccer player.  Spending time doing drugs would take away from my time to practice.

Write their boundaries and share them with a close friend.

Example:  “I will not drink and drive or get in a car with a drunk driver.  I will not do drugs at a party and will leave if I feel uncomfortable staying there.”

Write their “credo” or “mission statement.”

Example:  “My mission is to live life to its fullest, have fun and achieve my goals!”

Talk about how using drugs or alcohol would impact their mission.

Value them, seek their input, and make your expectations clear as your child grows up.  Hopefully, they understand that your love will always be there for them.  They are going to test that premise over and over again until they are very sure you mean it.

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