Tips For Creating Healthy Families
From "Family Wellness – Survival Skills for Healthy Families" by George T. Doub and Virginia Morgan Scott
Parents in healthy families accept two roles: to LEAD and to MODEL:
BE A LEADER
- Make rules
- Stick together
- Stay in charge
BE A MODEL
- Plan time to be with your child
- Involve your child in family life.
- Encourage your child to talk with you.
Tips for Communicating with your Child
- Choose a good time – after school, bedtime, while driving, whenever they seem interested in talking.
- Use a recent event to start a conversation.
- Sit at their level or on the floor so they feel more equal.
- Focus special attention on qualities or behaviors you want to see more of, and less on their mistakes.
- Tell them your feelings and thoughts about things that have meaning to you.
- Draw out a child’s ideas. Don’t rush to answer questions. Ex: “What were you thinking here?”
- Describe in detail what you see, instead of evaluating. Ex: “You cleaned the floor, washed the dishes and put away the leftovers!”
- Avoid criticisms and directions.
Traps when Communicating with your Child
- Lecture, preach, or interrupt.
- Correct their grammar.
- Take away hope. Ex: Child: “I want to get a job at camp.” Parent: “You’re too young, no one will hire you.”
- Not setting aside enough time.
- Push a child into a role or label. Ex: “You’re so uncoordinated, bossy, just like your mother, etc.”
- Not taking their thoughts or feeling seriously.